


Midnight Family

by NyGi



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dad Harvey Specter, Dimension Travel, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-16 14:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11830740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyGi/pseuds/NyGi
Summary: Harvey Specter was still seething with anger when he went to bed in his niece's bed in Boston, surrounded by purple and unicorns. What he did not expect was to wake up back home in Manhattan.Season 6 - The Painting





	1. Travel here, travel there

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a stupid little idea I had after watching all of Suits in... less than 2 weeks.
> 
> In case it isn't clear, this is set after Harvey went out to dinner with his mother. That episode made me cry and get really angry on Harvey's behalf at the same time...
> 
> Maybe someone will enjoy this thing :)

**Travel here, travel there**

  
  


_ So, when you leave this time, just stay gone, because the truth is: this family works better without you. _

 

Harvey turned angrily in his bed. Well… his niece’s bed. But his for the night. He had wanted to leave immediately. His anger and hurt burning hot, a pit in his stomach that just wouldn’t go away. Making it hard to breathe, to think. He had come to make up… to make it better and forgive. But… who was she to lay blame on him? And what did that… that man even think was his right to Harvey’s family?! 

 

_ So, when you leave this time, just stay gone, because the truth is: this family works  _

_ better without you. _

 

This family. Not his. When had he… lost all right to be a part of this? When had it become okay to blame him? When… when had he become the outsider?

Donna was wrong. He didn’t have a family outside his friends. And they were leaving him, leaving him, when he needed them the most. 

So yes, he had wanted to storm out. Get to the airport and leave, but… he couldn’t do that to Marcus’ kids. It wasn’t fair on them. He had promised to be there in the morning and he would be damned, if he broke that promise. And no matter what… that man had said, he would be back. At least for them. Harvey fell into an a restless sleep, those words still haunting his dreams:

 

_ So, when you leave this time, just stay gone, because the truth is: this family works better without you. _

 

Harvey woke with a start when he heard a baby crying.

Baby? Right. His brother’s. No. Wait. There was no baby anymore. Marcus’ kids were older. What?

There was a soft groan from next to him and a louder, more persistent sound from down the hall. 

Harvey set up and turned around. He wasn’t in his niece’s bed. He was in his own bed. In his condo. And there was someone lying next to him. 

“Are you going?”, that someone asked, her face hidden in between shadows and dark hair.

“What?”, he asked stupidly. 

There was a yawn, then a shove in his side, almost pushing him out of the bed.

“You seem awake. Just see what he wants, please.”

Okay. He was dreaming. Easy. Roll with it, he told himself and swung his feet out of bed. He made his way down the hall to the room that was ACTUALLY his library. He switched the light on and stopped right in the doorway. His library was simply… gone. The room in front of him was a child’s bedroom. Plain and simple. Well. Neither plain nor simple, actually. There were boxes full of toys, a bookcase shaped like a tree. And, Harvey noticed in horror, glowing stars on the ceiling above a big, comfy-looking cot. 

Harvey walked up to the cot like a soldier prepared to die. There was a baby sitting in it, sucking on a pacifier and looking up at him with big, teary blue eyes.

The little… hallucination… spit out his pacifier and raised his arms expectantly. 

“Dada.”, he declared, “Dada.”

Harvey just stood there. Petrified and terrified all at the same time.

“Dada.”, the voice got louder, alarmed by the lack of response.

There was a sniffing sound and those impossibly blue eyes, still glued to his face, started to tear up again.

On instinct Harvey reached out and picked the little boy up, pressing him close to his chest and softly stroking his back.  

“Harvey?”

He turned around, staring wide-eyed at the woman standing behind him. She was tall, her long, black hair reaching down far over her back and, Harvey noticed, her eyes were just as blue as the kid’s. She looked vaguely familiar, but he was certain there was no reason for her to be in his apartment. Let alone his bed. 

“Why’d you turn on the lights? Was something wrong?”

Harvey just kept staring at her.

Her eyes turned from confused to really worried.

“Harvey?”, she tried again.

She came closer, her left hand carefully resting on the baby’s back, the other finding its way to his left cheek.

“Are you alright, elskan? You are starting to worry me.”

Harvey felt his hands start to shake. This was… this was wrong. This wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t.. it was… no. He all but shoved the baby into his mother’s arms and bolted out the door.

“Harvey?!”, she called after him, panicked now. The baby was wailing again, but Harvey didn’t stop. Hurrying towards the elevator. Out, He needed to get out. Just… out. In his hurry he tripped over a stray toy on the floor, almost falling over. There was a high chair… toys… he accidently kicked a small ball. His coat, normally needly put on the rack every evening, was hazardly thrown over the couch. Harvey grabbed it and reached the lift, stepping in and frantically pushing the button for the exit. The door closed way too slowly for his liking. He turned around and saw that strange woman and her child standing on the other side of the glass door, her eyes wide and scared, glued to him, as the lift carried him out of her view.

 

What felt like hours later, Harvey reached the lobby. Dave, the night guard was trying to look non-judgmentally at him, standing there with his coat over his arms and dressed only in PJ bottoms and a t-shirt.

“Can I help you, Mr Specter?”

Harvey hardly heard him, the blood rushing in his ears. His chest tight. Air. He needed air. He ran past Dave and stood in front of the building, trying to breathe in deeply. 

He had gone to bed in Boston. That much he was sure of. But… this was his home. His bed. What was going on? 

Maybe… maybe his memory was off. Had he hit his head? A stroke? Was he high? No. That much he was sure of. 

He should go back up. Talk to her. Find out what was going on.

Dada. The baby had called him Dada. 

No. He… he knew he should go back up, but he simply couldn’t bring himself to. He couldn’t face her. Face that right now. 

Donna? 

No. He hated even thinking that, but if he had a kid and a partner, he wasn’t sure where he and Donna were standing right then and there.

Mike. Mike would probably still be in the apartment he had bought. Mike would remember everything. Mike he could trust.

Harvey put his coat on, and reached into his pockets. No phone, but a clip with 200 dollars in it. And a tiny, fluffy dragon. Harvey looked at it in shock. His mouth going dry. The toy was just another very clear sign that Harvey Specter’s life seemed to have changed rather drastically. 

Still barefoot, he managed to hail a taxi and give Mike’s address. 

“What time is it?”, he asked nonchalantly, as they reached Mike’s building.

“Almost three.”

Harvey sighed and gave the driver a big tip. Time to wake up Mike. And Rachel. And then explain… what exactly?

He banged at their door noisily, fully expecting he’d have to do that for a while, instead the door was thrown open almost immediately, Mike and Rachel standing on the other side, both fully dressed.

“Sorry for disturbing you this late. Or early.”, he told them, feeling rather stupid at his words. 

“Harvey, man, what the hell is going on?”, Mike asked, his words sounding much harsher than his worried tone.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Yeah. I got that.”

“Alone. Sorry, Rachel.”, he added, when he saw her shocked face.

Mike’s eyes narrowed, his mind obviously racing. 

“Let’s get a cup of coffee. The café around the block is open.”, Mike responded, reaching for his keys.

“I’ll… I’ll call Lý.”, Rachel told them, her eyes still not leaving Harvey’s face.

Mike just nodded at her, before taking Harvey’s arm and leading them both out of the apartment. Normally Harvey would not have just let the younger man lead him around like that, but he was exhausted and confused and… at least with Mike he knew he’d be okay. 

Lý. The woman in his apartment. She must have called Mike, when he had just stormed out in the middle of the night. Unexpectedly he felt guilty. He couldn’t imagine what she must have thought when he just ran out on her like that. And of course, with a baby, she couldn’t just run after him. Seemed like at least she knew him well enough to call Mike.

Harvey had expected Mike to pester him with questions the moment he got the chance, but instead they just walked in silence until they reached a small, comfy looking café not too far from the flat.

Harvey was trying hard not to think about the fact that he was walking around Manhattan in the middle of the night. Barefoot.

“Sorry.”, Mike started, when they set down in a booth at the back of the place, “Should have given you some shoes.”

“Should have taken some myself.”, Harvey shrugged. 

Mike nodded and grabbed the menu, handing it to Harvey.

They both ordered their coffees. Still sitting in silence and sipping carefully. Harvey could see the worry in impatience in Mike’s face, but he didn’t say a thing, instead waiting for Harvey to start on his own.

“What day is it?”, Harvey finally managed to ask.

“1st.. no. It’s after midnight. So 2nd of February.”, Mike answered slowly, his eyes narrowed at Harvey. 

Okay. Yes. He had gone to bed on the 1st of February, but…

“2017.”, Mike added, his voice calculating.

Harvey felt like his stomach just hit the floor. There went his memory loss idea.

“Shit.”

“Harvey…”, Mike started, then took a long sip from his coffee, “So.. you ran out on your family in the middle of the night and came to see me. And then you asked for the date. Are you TRYING to tell me that you have… like… amnesia?”

“No.”

“Okay. That makes it clearer.”

“I went to bed on February 1st 2017 and woke up here.”

“On the 2nd of February 2017.”, Mike stated, “That is… how it normally works.”

“I went to bed in Boston.”

“What were you doing in Boston?”

“Visiting my brother.”

“Really? You guys are talking again?”

“Who said we weren’t talking?”

“You.”

“What?”, Harvey’s brow creased in confusion. They didn’t talk that often, true… but they talked. Nevermind.

“That’s not the important thing here.”, Harvey declared.

“Okay.”

The two men just stared at each other, both not ready to say anything about what could possibly be going on.

“I went to bed in Boston. With unicorns on a wall and a purple carpet and I woke up next to a strange woman in my bed.”

“You have unicorns on your wall? Do they… shoot rainbows out of their…”

“Mike!”

“Yes. Right. Sorry. Lý. Her name is Lý.”

“Lý? Okay. And the kid?”

“Nat. Nathanael Gordon Specter, actually.”

Harvey couldn’t help it, he felt a sudden rush of warmth at that name. It was… a good name. He nodded at Mike in thanks.

“Harvey… are you honestly trying to tell me you feel like… you are in some sort of what? Alternative universe?”

“Of course not! But… you’ve got a better idea?”

“Normally I’d say you were having me on. Massively. But you wouldn’t do that to Lý and she DEFINITELY wasn’t lying. She wasn’t just worried. She was terrified.

“Shit.”

“Indeed.”

They sipped on their coffees for a bit. Both of them thinking about what the hell was going on.

“Hey Harvey, I don’t know if the me in your world said the same to you once, but when I said you should be writing for Hallmark, that was a joke. And I did not mean for you to go and LIVE that shit.”

“I appreciate that.”

“What do we do now?”, Mike asked him, his hand still clutching the mug tightly.

“I have no idea.”


	2. The Godfather

**The Godfather**

 

“Okay, since we now decided to roll with the alternate reality thing, let’s do the most logical thing first.”, Mike declared, when he returned to the table with two more cups of coffee.

“Your use of the term ‘logical’ disturbs me.”

“Well, did you go back in time and change something?”   
“No.”

“Then we need to find out what exactly changed. So we can give you a roadmap. Normally I’d find it amusing to see you stumble from situation to situation, but I don’t think the firm is going to survive that right now.”

“Right. Sounds similar to my… life?”

“Dimension? Reality? Dream?”

“You are having way too much fun with this.”

“No. There is still room for improvement.”

“Fine. Back to the point. The firm took a hit. Everyone left. We are trying to get back up.”

“More or less. Not everyone left, but it’s looking alright now.”

“Not everyone?”, Harvey asked, remembering being left with Jessica, Louis, Donna and Rachel. And… what was the name of that IT-guy again? Him. 

“Three senior partners stayed. So did most of the associates. Tough to get another job. Paralegals… I’d say half. We took a big hit, but it could have been worse.”

“It was worse for us.”, Harvey sighed, “Much worse.”

“Jessica said it probably would have gone worse, if my case had gone to trial.”, Mike admitted and Harvey felt like he had been punched in the gut, “More negative press.”

“You didn’t go to trial?”

“No. I plead guilty. Two years. You got me out, though.”

“We went to trial, but then you took the deal. I got you out, too. What… what made you take the deal early on?”

“They wanted me to turn on you.”

“Same.”

“So I took the deal and made sure they’d never be able to come after you for any of this.”

“My Mike agreed to fight this.”, Harvey looked up at the younger man , his eyes narrowed in thought.

“Your Mike probably didn’t have to worry about getting you locked up and leaving…”

“His wife and child.”, Harvey finished for him, sighing loudly.

“Exactly. Although you guys aren’t married.”

That explained the absence of a ring. Harvey smiled at that. He had always said that having a child wasn’t enough of a reason to get married and it seemed that alternative him agreed with that.

“But I THINK you were planning on changing that. After Jessica left and you became managing partner, you told me you were just waiting for things to calm down a little.”

“Did we have a heart to heart? Talk about our feelings?”, Harvey tried to joke, but in all honesty, he was far from feeling like laughing. This woman, Lý, he was ready to marry her. Had talked about it to Mike. Was he really that different? Or had alternative him somewhere along the way made such a different decision that everything had changed? Harvey wasn’t really sure which answer he’d prefer.

“We do that all the time. Don’t you? We like to braid each others hair, too.”

This time Harvey really did find himself chuckling a bit. This was so… bizzare. So unbelievable… But it was nice to sit here and talk to Mike again like this. They had been too caught up in work and EVERYTHING to just talk. All Harvey had really wanted was to get his best friend back and Mike had thrown that in his face and refused to return home. Had this Mike done that, too? Or had he taken this Harvey up on his offer to work as a consultant?

Donna… Donna had told him that Harvey liked to pretend he only had his family from work. But here… here he had Lý and Nat. 

But then again, Mike had said he and Marcus weren’t speaking…

“How did I meet Lý?”, Harvey asked, instead of walking into way too dangerous territory. She had looked somewhat familiar, after all. If only he could place her.

“I don’t know.”, Mike shrugged.

Harvey huffed.

“No, really. I don’t know about you, but our Harvey isn’t that big on ‘soap opera’. I found out about Lý, when he asked me to be godfather to the kid that was due in… five weeks.”

Harvey flinched. Sadly enough that did sound a lot like him. So this Harvey hadn’t gotten more… ‘emotionally available’, either.

“What did you say?”

“Gladly. If you’d admit I was now the godfather to your consiglieri.”

“Did I give you a pin? A certificate?”, Harvey grinned.

“No. But you were nice enough to introduce me as “The Godfather” for two weeks after Nat was born. You were in a good mood.”

“How old is he now? Nat?”

“Ten months. Exciting age. I was over the other day to help you built the new bookshelf. Hit my head and he just laughed for ten minutes straight. He thought it was SUPER funny.”

“I am sure it was.”

A sudden thought hit Harvey, when he saw Mike’s happy smile as he recalled spending time with his son.

“Mike, do you work as a consultant?”

“Yes. You asked me to.”

“Did you do it because I offered or because…”

“Well, you asked and I couldn’t just let you hanging.”

But his Mike had. Had thrown his offer in his face. 

“Mainly I think you just need someone to throw the ball around with. You could do it yourself, of course. But that would mean a lot of more work for you and… that seemed unfair.”

Right. Because THIS Harvey had a family and couldn’t do 90 hour weeks anymore.

He wondered what else seemed so similar and was so different after all.

“Anything else I really need to know?”

“I guess we can talk about work in the office later today. In case you are coming in. Best go home and explain to Lý what happened.”

“No way in hell.”

“Harvey…”

“I am not telling the woman that I woke up in bed next to this morning and that I replaced the man she loved with someone who has never met her and remembers neither her NOR their son. No way.”

“Harvey, do you really want to try and lie to her about that? She’ll notice. I am guessing it won’t even take long.”

“And you want me to do what? Break her heart? Because that’s what’s going to happen.”

“You don’t know that. She managed to endure your charming personality so far. What makes you think she won’t be able to get her head around this?”

“No.”

“Harvey…”

“I said no. And that decision is final.”, Harvey was looking at Mike with the angriest expression he could muster, but if he was honest with himself, he was just terrified at the idea of her rejecting him for replacing alternative Harvey. After what had happened with his mother only a couple of hours ago, he wasn’t sure, if he could deal with anymore of that.

Mike pursed his lips.

“Fine. But I hope you realize that there is no good lie in the world to explain that you ran out on her in PJs and barefoot.”

“I’ll come up with something.”

“Sure.”

“That means you can’t tell anyone, either. Not even Rachel.”

“Oh, no way. She’d kill me.”

“Then tell her that it’s not your story to tell and she should ask me herself. Because I do NOT want this story to come out. Then someone will send for the nice men with the lovely, comfy jackets.”

Mike just looked at him for what felt like ages, before he finally nodded.

“Fine. But I will not outright lie. Not to Rachel. Not to Lý. She’d kill me, too. And I quite like her. I am not messing up my invitation for thanksgiving. She makes a mean turkey.”

Thanksgiving? 

“We spend thanksgiving together?”, he asked carefully, “Of course we do.”

Thinking back at the short interaction he had had with Lý, he remembered the way she had lovingly touched his face. Worried that something might be wrong with him. 

“She called me something. It didn’t sound English.”

“I honestly don’t know what Lý calls you, when you guys are alone, but she’s Icelandic. So I am guessing that might be it. She often speaks Icelandic with Nat, too.”

“Now I really want to know where we met.”

“I know that she went to Oxford and later moved to New York. She’s a writer. Children’s books, mainly. Young Adult. So she can work from home. But I THINK that’s not the whole story. She seems to have family money, but I never asked and she never volunteered anything. I don’t really know anything about her family, to be honest. Sorry. I can’t help you there.”

“I’ll be flying blind then.”

“It’s almost five in the morning. No use trying to go back to sleep. I vote for going home and getting dressed for work. We can impress the associates by being the first at the office.”

They left the café with a last nod towards the young woman behind the counter.

Harvey, not dramatic at all, felt a little like he was walking towards his execution.

He hailed a taxi and as he got in, Mike gave him one last, supportive squeeze of the shoulder, before he turned around to walk back home.

  
  
  



	3. Promises

**Promises**

 

The apartment was almost dark, illuminated only by the city lights, when Harvey reached it. Dave had just let him up again, even without the keycard he so obviously didn’t have on him.

Time to face the music, Harvey thought and hung his coat up on its rag, before he quietly stepped into the bedroom. It was empty. 

So Lý had not gone back to bed either, but then again, Harvey hadn’t really expected her to. He found her sitting in a rocking chair in Nat’s room, looking out over the city. She was leaning back, the small boy’s head lying on her shoulder, pacifier moving slightly as he slept in his mother’s arms. Her eyes rapidly moved over his face, when he leaned onto the doorframe, like she was trying to reassure herself that he was indeed back and okay. If only you knew, Harvey thought guiltily. 

Carefully she stood up and placed Nat back into his cot, making soft shushing noises as she moved him and placed a blanket over him. Harvey stepped out of the room and she followed, closing the door behind them. Wordlessly they made their way back to the bedroom. Their bedroom.

“Are you alright?”, she asked him, after she closed that door, too.

“Yes, I… I am sorry for running out the way I did. I… had a revelation about a case and really needed to tell Mike about it.” Weak, Specter, really weak.

Lý stared at him. Then she started blinking rapidly and Harvey was suddenly reminded of the look on little Nat’s face before he started crying earlier. Oh no.

“You are lying to me.”, she told him plainly, her arms moving up to hug herself, “Why would you do that?”

“I am not…”

“Stop!”, she told him and Harvey suddenly realized that those were definitely tears of anger in her eyes, “You promised me, Harvey. You PROMISED me.”

Maybe he really should have listened to Mike.

“I… I can’t… I can’t tell you the truth.”, he blurted out instead and regretted it almost instantly. What was WRONG with him? He was better than this. 

“THAT I get. THAT I understand. THAT was our fucking deal! You promised me you wouldn’t lie. Not to me. Not after what happened with…”, but Lý didn’t finish that sentence, instead taking a deep breath and sitting down on the bed.

Huh? She was okay with him keeping secrets? Maybe, just maybe, Harvey thought, he was beginning to understand why he was with this woman… and if this was indeed their deal, then…

“Lý… I am sorry for running out. And I am sorry for lying just now. I am trying.”, he told her. And he hoped to every god that would listen that he had understood the relationship of Lý and Alternative Harvey correctly. Carefully he sat down next to her, “Old habits die hard.”

Lý gave a wet chuckle and angrily brushed the tears away, before she turned around to look at him. 

“I know. And I am not really angry. More hurt.”

“I understand. And I wish I could tell you. But right now I can’t. I am sorry.”

Lý gave a quick nod, before her hand reached up to cup his cheek again, like she had done earlier. She tilted her head to the side and smiled at him.

“We all carry our scars.”, she said and Harvey froze. Before he could even make sense of what she had just told him, she pressed a soft kiss on his lips and got up, vanishing into the bathroom. Harvey sat on the bed, her words ringing over and over in his mind.  _ We all carry our scars. _

It wasn’t… that easy, was it? It wasn’t possible that this woman just… accepted his secretive and deflecting nature, was it? He wondered briefly what it was that she carried around with her, when she returned with a basin full of warm water and soap, placing it in front of him.

“A shower won’t be enough to clean those feet of yours, so get them in there and let them soak.”, she told him sternly and Harvey could hardly stop himself from saying ‘Yes, Ma’am’, instead pulling up his trouser legs and placing his feet in the water, sighing happily and the relaxing sensation. 

Lý gave him a last smile, before she left him to sit on the bed and went to take a shower herself. 

Harvey just sat in silence, thinking about everything that happened in the last couple of hours… the fight with his mother… that man… 

 

_ So, when you leave this time, just stay gone, because the truth is: this family works better without you. _

 

_ We all carry our scars. _

 

He could still hear the shower, when Nat stirred again. Apparently his night was over on all fronts now. Harvey tried to shake off as much water as possible, before he left the bedroom, tracking wet and slightly dirty footprints through the apartment. Normally he would never have even thought of doing that, but the crying baby seemed more important.

“Hey buddy.”, he smiled down at the boy, “Sorry for running out on you earlier. Had a rough start today. How is your day going?”

Nat looked at him, looking rather more sceptical than he had earlier. Did babies hold a grudge? He honestly wasn’t that… good with kids.

“Are you really awake now or is it more of a break from sleep?” Harvey looked at the clock on the opposite wall. There were animals instead of numbers on it. He was prepared to guess that half past rooster was a good time to get up.

“Why don’t you come with me to the bedroom, mh? Then we can just wait for your Mom.”

“Mamma.”, Nat agreed and nodded enthusiastically. Okay, Harvey thought and made a mental note to google child development. 

He carried Nat over to the bedroom, only to find Lý walking around with a towel, looking at him expectantly.

“Hungry?”, she asked and Harvey had already opened his mouth to say coffee had been enough, when he realized she had been asking after Nat. 

He felt the sudden need to leave the room, when she took the boy from his arms and settled down on the bed to nurse him. 

Alternative Harvey was probably used to this, but to him it felt like an intrusion on her privacy. 

Lý gave him a content smile instead and he took the opportunity to bolt towards the bathroom to take the world’s hottest shower.

When he put on his robe and  walked through the bedroom twenty minutes later, Lý was still  leaning back in bed, her eyes closed and listening to an audiobook… The Hobbit?

Despite his reservation earlier, he stopped on his way and looked at them for a full minute, a strange feeling of… envy surging through him. They looked so happy… so content. Alternative Harvey seemed like one lucky bastard.

He managed to pull himself away from the peaceful scene and found his wardrobe confirming everything else that had happened so far. Next to his suits and casual clothes, he found a wild mixture of Lý’s clothes. Where those… dungarees?

Harvey just laughed, shook his head and got dressed.  

Normally he’d make himself coffee now, sit outside… but he wasn’t sure what the normal routine was here and messing up again would probably sink his plan of secrecy.

Turned out he didn’t have to worry about that too much, because Lý turned up behind him, unceremoniously threw a towel over his shoulder and handed him the happily smiling Nat.

“I’ll get dressed.”, she declared and headed towards her part of the closet. 

Harvey took Nat back to the living area, involuntarily smiling at the feeling of the small child snuggling close to his chest. With one hand he angled for his phone one the counter and called Ray to come pick him up, hoping that was still what he did. Ray sounded as he always did, so at least there he didn’t seem to have messed up.

Harvey was standing there, swaying softly and looking out over the city, when Lý came back, her long, black hair braided into a tight bun, wearing sweatpants and a shirt. Harvey grinned. Compared to his three-piece suit she looked severely underdressed. 

“You off to work then?”

“Yes. Get in an early start today.”, he agreed and handed Nat back, “You?”

Her brow furrowed in confusion. 

“It’s thursday…”, she ended her explanation on a more questioning note. Harvey just blinked at her. Maybe, he thought, he should have taken the time to look at her calender. Or his, for that matter.

“We are going to the park for Mom running…”, she continued, her eyes slightly narrowed.

“Right. Sorry. Lack of sleep.”, Harvey tried to play it off.

Lý looked at him expectantly, when he put on his coat. He would not get away with a simply wave and a ‘see ya’, that much he was sure of. He pressed a careful kiss on Nat’s head and a quick peck on Lý’s lips, sending a silent apology to Alternative Harvey.

“Have fun today.”, Harvey told them, as he stept into the elevator.

“Bye, Harvey, love you!”

“Bye Bye, Dada.”, Nat waved happily and Harvey felt a lump in his throat, as he vanished from view.


	4. Pearson Specter Litt

**Pearson Specter Litt**

 

Pearson Specter Litt was simultaneously very similar and disturbingly different. Harvey arrived shortly past seven, the firm wasn’t open for business… which was why no one but Mike witnessed him running into the wrong office.

“How may I help you?”

Harvey took a step back to look at the door.

“I gave you my office?”

“Of course you did. You did it before… or didn’t you?”

“No. I did.”

“And we both know why that it.”, Mike grinned cheekily, “Because you MISSED me.”

“True. No one learns case trivia like you do.”

“You NEED me.”

“Obviously. But only until I am allowed to google things in the Courtroom.”

“What’s google?”

“Not funny,  Mike.”

Harvey closed Mike’s door and sat down.

“How did it go at home?”, Mike asked, suddenly sounding serious.

“Could have been a lot worse. A lot.”, Harvey admitted.

“Did you actually manage to come up with a good story?”, Mike looked more impressed than Harvey had ever seen him.

“No. Didn’t have to. Lý let’s me have my secrets.”

“Rachel IS right: That woman is too good for you.”

Harvey knew Mike only meant to tease him, but he couldn’t deny that his comment stung.

“Which is why I need to check my calendar. And hers, if possible. I didn’t know about Mom Running today.”

“Right. Thursdays. ‘Running’ with Amber and Cheryl and their daughters Lena and Julie. Well, they call it ‘Running’, but it’s more of a leisurely walk that ends at Magda’s café for a cup of hot chocolate. Or two. What? Of course I know this.”

Harvey refused to even respond to that.

“She’ll spend time with the other Moms. Then she’ll bring you lunch. Which is why at 12.55 you should move your ass to the executive kitchen, where you should heat Nat’s food. You ALWAYS do that yourself, because you enjoy pretending to be an aeroplane when you feet him.”

“Nice try.”

“Oh no, that wasn’t a joke. You go into Dad-Mode. I can hardly wait for the day that Nat will come and tell his cool Uncle Mike that his annoying Dad is overbearing and overprotective. Maybe you’ll guys will have a girl one day. There are some veins on your forehead I’d like to see explode.”

Harvey feared those veins might do that right now.

Mike finally noticed that Harvey wasn’t enjoying his comments that much. 

“Sorry. For a second there, I forgot.”

“Lucky you. Nothing here lets me forget anything.”

“Then I better not show you to your office?” 

Harvey sighed. Better get this over with, before someone saw them and started asking questions.

He actually felt pretty sure about work. Yes, it was a difficult time, but the same had been true for him anyway and even though they hadn’t explicitly said so, both Harvey and Mike were pretty sure that him meeting Lý had been where their lives changed. So Harvey hoped that his cases and clients had basically stayed the same.

Mike let him to Jessica’s office, just like Harvey had expected and feared. There was Jessica’s desk, now filled with his things… There were his balls, still neatly placed in front of his window, his records placed along the walls. New was the playpen next to the seating area, very clearly telling the world that the managing partner at Pearson Specter Litt was not a workaholic playboy anymore. Harvey could see three framed pictures on his desk and there, above his record player, was a big canvas. It was unpainted, except  for the colorful handprints spread out over it. 

“It was Nat’s gift to you for Christmas.”, Mike explained, nodding towards the canvas, he had his hands in his pockets and grinned, “Those small ones are obviously his. Over there is Lý… there is Donna and Jessica, me and Rachel. And Louis is over there, next to Jessica.”

Harvey felt… he didn’t know what he felt. His mother’s painting was still nowhere to be found, but this…

“Mike, do you know why Marcus and I aren’t speaking?”

“Mh, actually I do. A couple of weeks after Nat’s birth we got celebratory drunk and… you told me you flew out to see him the week after you told me. He wasn’t happy with you waiting so long to tell him. You got in an argument that ended with him saying you were choosing your work over your family and asking, if you were ashamed of where you came from and you saying…”

“That the people here ARE my family.”, Harvey concluded, still staring at the canvas. Marcus and he didn’t fight. Not ever. Maybe, he had to admit to himself, they didn’t have enough of a relationship anymore to fight. 

So Lý had gone and made him a symbol of his New York family. It was obvious and blatant and… he appreciated it. Mike had said he didn’t know anything about Lý’s family. Maybe there was a good reason for that, too.

“I am not ashamed.”, Harvey told Mike. He didn’t know why exactly he felt the need to say it, but he couldn’t let that accusation stand.

“I know.”

Donna chose exactly that moment to arrive in a flurry of motion and coffee.

“Harvey! You… why are you already here?!”

“I decided to get an early start.”

“But…”, he stopped, blinked and looked at him with that intense gaze he had come to fear years ago. Her eyes were taking in every inch of his appearance, “Okay.”

Harvey felt the air leave his lungs.

Okay? Just like that? But… Donna didn’t just let things go… what?

“Jim Tyler called and asked for a meeting. He’ll be here at 10.”, Donna informed him and the left the office just as suddenly as she had entered it.

“I never get in this early. And never BEFORE Donna.”

“You have been coming in at odd hours and leaving early instead. A baby will do that to you.”, Mike laughed and Harvey groaned. Right. Getting up early WITH a baby.

Harvey spend his morning doing mundane paperwork, before his client arrived. Nothing big or interesting happened. At all. Was this how Jessica had spend her days, when she hadn’t been busy cleaning up the messes the other lawyers got up to? At 12:45 Mike appeared back in his office, telling him he wanted to make tea in the executive kitchen. Harvey was well aware of the fact that he just didn’t want Donna to hear that Harvey needed a lesson in how to heat food for his son.

So the two men worked their way through the kitchen, finding a bowl and heating the mashed carrots, before Mike grabbed a handful of plates and forks and they walked back to the office, to find Lý and Nat already there. There were cartons of food strewn all over the place and Harvey was surprised to see that not only Donna and Rachel had joined them, but Louis as well.

“Lunch!”, Lý declared happily. She waited until Mike had placed his cargo on the coffee table, placed Nat in his waiting arms and came over to stand next to Harvey, who instinctively placed his arm around her and smiled down at her.

“How was the hot chocolate?”

“What? We were only doing healthy, sporty stuff. Like walking.”

“I believe you.”

Mike had meanwhile started carrying Nat through the room, making airplane noises and letting the small child giggle happily.

“Boys!”, Lý called, feigning exasperation, “Lunchtime isn’t playtime.”

Boys? Harvey looked down at the woman in his arms and wondered just how old she actually was. He honestly had no idea. Another thing to find out. Her birthday. And Nat’s. Pronto. 

“Off to Daddy then.”, Mike relented and handed Nat over to Harvey, who took the laughing boy with one arm, still holding the puree with the other. Mike winked at him and took a seat on the floor next to Rachel. 

Harvey just shook his head at the image of all those professional, well-paid people sitting around on two couches and the floor, making them look so much younger than they were.

Harvey took the one vacant seat, next to Louis, placed Nat on his left knee and the bowl on the table in front of him.

“Here we go, buddy. Delicious food.”

Nat took a spoonful, making happy slurping sounds. Then another. When Harvey tried to feed him the third spoon, Nat scrunched up his little face.

“Nnnnnnno!”, he declared, pressing the word out through his almost closed lips. 

“What do you mean: no? You can’t be full yet.”

“No!”

Louis started laughing, eating one of the sandwiches Lý had brought. Harvey looked over the small group of people. They were all eating and trying to hide their smiles at his troubles.

“Nat enjoys the word ‘No’ right now.”; Lý explained for their benefit, “I think he enjoys the power to decide for himself . It gives him some… how do you say… self-determination?”

Okay, Harvey thought, you can do this. You are a Harvard educated lawyer. You handle millions every month. You can feed a baby.

“Fine. Don’t eat something then. But don’t mind if I do.”, Harvey told Nat with a fake stern voice, reaching for one of the unused spoons on the table and dipping it in, taking a small spoonful.

Nat’s eyes went wide, his appalled call of “No!” not deterring Harvey from eating the puree with relish.

“Mhhhhhhhhhh”, he told the group, exaggerating massively.

“Dada! Dada. No.”, Nat started to squirm on his lap, “Dada!”

“Hungry?”, Harvey asked him seriously, “Well, I suppose we can share after all.”

Nat ate the rest of his meal happily, finishing it all and smiling up at Harvey with every spoon he took, as long as Harvey took a tiny portion himself now and then.

By the time they were done, the others had all but finished their meal and Rachel, still sitting on the floor, opened her arms wide. 

Taking his cue, Harvey placed Nat on the floor, where he happily crawled over into Rachel’s waiting lap.

Rachel, contrary to what Harvey was used to, hadn’t said a thing about last night to him, but she kept sending him strange and slightly angry looks. From the way they were all talking to each other when Harvey finally got to fill his own plate with some food, he suspected they were all much closer, than he had expected. Rachel was probably angry on her terrified friend’s behalf.

“Are we still on for sunday?”, Louis asked. 

“I am.”, Donna declared, raising her hand like she was in school.

“So am I.”, Rachel agreed.

“Sadly, I am out.”, Lý sighed, “I am still nursing in the evening. So going to the theater is a no go for me.”

“Too bad.”, Louis, dramatic as ever, looked honestly disappointed.

“Buuuut.”; Lý grinned, “Mike told me I should try mudding.”

Harvey shook his head at her violently, mouthing ‘NO!’ behind Louis’s back.

“That… yes, that would be perfect! Next week?”

“Tuesday? I mean, if nothing important comes up here… then I can just leave Nat here for a bit. Right, Harvey?”

“Ahm. Yes.”, Harvey agreed. Was he now the only one here Louis had never managed to rope into mudding?!


	5. Harvey's Life

**Harvey’s Life**

 

Somewhere in the middle of their lunch hour Nat fell asleep in Rachel’s arms. 

“Does he do that often?”, Donna laughed and shook her head in exasperation.

“Every time.”,  Lý agreed, while starting to collect the leftovers. Her tone was cheery, but Harvey got the strange feeling something wasn’t completely right there.

He wasn’t… sure what exactly he was feeling right then. It was easy, way too easy, to just get lost in the dynamic of their little group. Forget that this wasn’t HIS life, his family, his friends. Those handprints didn’t belong to him. Lý’s loving smile when she looked at him didn’t belong to him. Nat’s trust didn’t belong to him. ‘Dada’ didn’t belong to him. He felt like an imposter, a fraud, a thief. 

Was this what Mike had meant? About living a life under a shadow? He had only been here a couple of hours, what if… was this going to end? Was this… permanent?!

It wasn’t that he didn’t like Lý. She was beautiful and kind and… he hadn’t talked to her enough to know, if she was as smart as he suspected… he would have loved getting to know her under different circumstances. And he had quite enjoyed spending time with Nat, too. He was a lovely child. And seeing how much the boy just trusted him, was amazing… he had never spend that much time with children, but… he loved his life. He loved the freedom. Yes, he worked a lot. But he got to do whatever he liked. He got to spend his money where he wanted. Got to sleep with whomever he wanted. He could work 80 hour weeks. Or just 10. It was hard. It was stressful. Right now it was full of existential problems, but it was HIS life. 

Whatever choices Alternative Harvey had made, whatever had happened to lead him to exactly this point in his life, they hadn’t been HIS choices. 

He still wasn’t completely convinced that all of this was even true. It was all too perfect. The firm was doing okay, Mike was back where he belonged and they were… good. Donna was there, bringing him coffee… he was managing partner… and when he came home, he had a lovely child and a partner that respected him, trusted him and accepted his quirks. There was no way in hell that ANY of this was true. He’d wake from the most realistic fever dream of his life and be exactly where he was supposed to be. Or in a hospital room in Boston.

“Will you help me carry him downstairs?”, Lý ripped Harvey from his thoughts. He hadn’t noticed Louis, Donna and Mike leaving the room. When had they gone? He had been staring at the table in front of him, his mind racing too quickly to keep up with the present.

Rachel was still sitting on the floor, Nat safely sleeping in her arms. She was looking at him with that strange mixture of worry and anger people got when they were angry but didn’t know, if there was something terribly wrong with you.

Harvey shook his head, before nodding vigorously.

“Sorry, I was gone there for a bit.”

He stood up and carefully bent down to pick Nat up, who only stirred a little, burying his little face in Harvey’s suit. 

Harvey felt like he was walking on eggshells, careful not to jostle the boy, as Lý opened the door for him. She gave a friendly wave towards Donna, back at her seat and smiled at a group of associates walking by. 

They waved back with enthusiasm. Another very clear sign that Lý and Nat were a pretty normal sight around the office. 

They stood in comfortable silence during the elevator ride, Lý standing so close, they were actually touching. 

“He is getting so big now.”, she whispered into his ear, “Where did the time go?”

“I don’t know.”, Harvey responded, looking down at Nat’s wild, black hair. 

Seeing Marcus’ kids the other day had already been a big shock to him. They were truly, honestly getting big now. It had struck him to the core. If you stayed away from somewhere, Harvey had noticed, you expected things to stay the same. The places. The people. They never did. But then again, neither did you. 

What would Alternative Harvey think once he got back here? Hopefully. Somehow. 

How would he feel about missing out on Nat’s life?

Harvey wasn’t even thinking about the possibility that maybe there was no going back.  

But if this was how he felt, he couldn’t even imagine what Alternative Harvey might be feeling, stranded in a strange world without his family. Possibly waking up in Boston right after a fight with… her. 

They reached the lobby and walked out onto the street. Ray was waiting there, holding the door open with a bright smile. Harvey carefully placed Nat in his seat and looked at the thing in horror. How the hell was he supposed to fasten this thing?!

His whole hidden identity would come crashing down because he couldn’t strap the kid in.

The opposite door opened and Lý slit in, placing her bag at her feet and reaching for the seat.

“Honestly.”, she whispered, “By now I am convinced you are just messing with me.”

Harvey froze. Oh no.

“It is not that hard. You are just afraid of waking him.”

“He looks so peaceful like this.”, Harvey agreed.

“Of course he does. He’s asleep.”, she huffed and strapped Nat in without even stirring him. Ray was still waiting outside, Harvey noticed. All done here. Just retreat, he told himself, but Lý just placed her hand on his arm and looked up at him with those big, blue eyes.

“Harvey…”, she started, then stopped and bit her lip, “I promised I wouldn’t push you, but… you know you can tell me anything. I won’t just up and leave you.”

She was trying to make it sound like a joke, but Harvey saw right through it. She was scared. Honestly, really scared. And he was the cause of that fear. On impulse he bent over Nat and placed a kiss on Lý’s forehead.

“I know.”,  he told her, “Just… give me some time.”

She nodded at him, her eyes suspiciously shiny, but didn’t say anything else, instead letting go of his arm and turning around to reach for her seatbelt. 

“See you soon.”, he told her, as he carefully closed the car door.

Ray gave him a friendly nod and got into the car, driving off with Harvey still standing on the sidewalk, watching them leave. He kept standing there long after they had vanished from sight, wondering just what the hell he was going to do.

Ten minutes later he returned to his office, sat back down behind his desk and stared at the canvas opposite it. He had been busy that morning dealing with his client and the daily firm business, but suddenly he found himself faced with downtime. He opened the top drawer, looking at the usual mix of pens, markers and nicknacks.

He worked his way down, finding stacks of paperwork. Until he reached the bottom drawer, where he found a folder from a realtor. 

Carefully he opened it, shocked to find offers for several townhouses. There were lists, too… number of bedrooms… proximity to schools… parks.  

Alternative Harvey had been looking for a house. And there, underneath those houses for sale, was a list just like it for his own condo. Ready for sale. 

Harvey couldn’t believe it. He LOVED his condo. Buying it had been his biggest symbol of freedom. His proof to himself that he had MADE it. 

Right, that tiny voice inside his head told him, it works just fine with one kid, but not, if Lý and Alternative Harvey want more kids. Or a home office again.

Mike had said Lý was a writer. The condo wasn’t meant for a family. Not even close.

Harvey couldn’t say why exactly, but seeing his condo might be sold, was the thing that drove his weird, fantastical, insane situation home with a vengeance. 

Get out of here, he told himself.

He grabbed his coat and left, trying to look inconspicuous.

“I am leaving early.”, he told Donna, ignoring her irritated expression. Maybe there was more work. Maybe he never left early. He didn’t know and didn’t care.

Down on the street he decided to simply walk for a bit, the cold rushing through his lungs, purging all thoughts from his head. With the loud and busy city all around him, it felt like his mind was finally, thankfully quiet.

He walked for almost two hours before he realized that he hadn’t been walking around as aimlessly, as he had thought. He was almost home, standing in front of Magda’s, where he occasionally got a coffee. And where Lý and her friends went after their ‘run’. 

He stepped inside, only now realizing that his face welt frozen. He could feel the blood rush back almost painfully. 

He got in line and the young man behind the counter smiled knowingly at him, when it was his turn.

“The usual for you and your lady?”, he asked and Harvey stared at him. 

His lady. 

He nodded reflexively and left the café four minutes later with two steaming cups of hot chocolate and orange flavour. 

Really freezing now while his hands felt like they were about to burn off, he hurried back home.

He could hear the music before the elevator reached the living area and no one heard him coming. 

Lý was standing behind the counter, singing along with gusto, while Nat was standing next to the couch, holding himself steady on the edge and excitedly bobbing up and down, laughing madly. They still hadn’t noticed him, when he put the cups on the side table and took of his coat.

“Everybody loves me, baby, what’s the matter with you?”, Lý laughed and swung her head, her eyes finally landing on the grinning Harvey. 

“Hey! Alexa, stop.”, the music ended immediately.

“Dada!”, Nat declared happily and Harvey winced, when he simply let himself fall backwards onto his well-cushioned backside. Nat crawled over to him with more speed than Harvey thought he himself could run. Damn, babies were FAST. 

He bent down to pick the little boy up, who laughed happily in his face. 

“You are home early.”, Lý smiled, “Which is perfect, since we are making waffles.”

“Uhhhhhhhhh”, Harvey tickled the excited Nat, who laughed even more, “Waffles for everyone? Even the little ones? A waffle for Nat?”

“Já!”, Nat told him, nodding, “Já já.” 

“I am guessing that’s a yes.”, Harvey agreed and let Nat down on the floor again, who happily crawled back to his space near the couch, kicking one of his colorful balls in the process and laughing even more. 

Harvey picked up the two cups and walked over to Lý, who was just butting batter into the waffle iron again.

He placed her hot chocolate in front of her and sat down at the counter with his own. Her whole face lit up.

“Thank you.”, she told him, her voice quiet and looking at him thoughtfully. Harvey wondered, if maybe this chocolate meant more than he knew. They both took a sip and Harvey felt the warmth return to his body now. Nat meanwhile reached him and pulled himself up. 

“Dada!”

“Yes? Oh sorry. I apologize for making you wait, young Sir.”, Harvey agreed and placed Nat on his lap. And so they just sat there happily, Harvey carefully sipping his hot chocolate and both of them watching Lý with fascination. Harvey thought that maybe he did get the appeal of this after all.

  
  



End file.
